at 967

i didnt make it to a 1000 post in bruffbone. but at least there are 967 posts.
if anyone still visits this blog, maybe i should say,
I'VE MOVVEED!

when will it burst?

the rubber band might just snap one day.

i wonder what can make me happier these days.

topsy-turvy

life's been in a pretty mess for the past few week. thing were happening, mummy's not healthy and i just pray that she'll escape from cancer. sigh. I didnt quite feel worried when she told me about it but untill i realised that she was freaking freaking worried, i couldnt help it but feared. there were days that i actually cried but most of the time, i hold it back.
when people tell stories about cancer, i'll fear. caz i dont want mummy to leave me. yet.
i wonder what mummy thinks, would she rather hear them or just stay in her own peace.

Daddy God, i pray that you will keep mum in Your hands.
for now, please give some respect to my mum. or you'll never know what i'll do.

sometimes sining seems to be the best remedy. been back to my greatest sin that i was in before i was a christian and took me about 4 years of christian life to be free-ed. Although this time it's different but same genre lah. but it's been there for the past weeks. sometimes it gets real bad. like you know it's wrong but then you'll still walk into the boundary. praying didnt quite work cause i knew i could face God. I wasnt even able to pray the Lord's Prayer without getting distracted.
So last week, i decided to go on a fast. one to teach me how to avoid temptation, two to have mummy safe.

stop on friday and somehow things got better. i was able to avoid sining, or maybe sin less. and even when there were times when the brain tries to psyco you to sin, somehow things distracted me from sining. and what more, last night, i manage to say the Lord's Prayer without getting distracted.

lead us not in to temptation but deliver us from evil.

lesser time at home i guess.

blogging less,
i wonder why.

maybe my life's not that exciting anymore?
but okay what.

youth hub and the kids are great.
climbing at boulderactive was pretty fun. but i do need to traaaainnn more.
lync's graduation party was not too bad lah. even thou i was horribly, half, undressed. =)

OH, i got my moduel class and selection already.
got my 5th module, and 75% of my class will be made up of year 3s. kill me please.

ah peh wan chee and lastest favourite boy, dustin!
my fav indian boy, vinesh, hasnt been coming, i think caz he's been mixing too much with bad company. sigh, so young you know.......... 12 years old i hope he comes back soon. even if he's there to bullshit and bully me.

with trust and faith.

i know i haven been going climbing cause of work and stuff. and few days ago, i decided that i should build up some muscles. no time for proper exercising, no rocks to hang on. so i chose the stairs.
running/walking up 18 floors for the past 3 days is untimately tiring. but well, it's a good i think. had a challange with bro today and obviously i won, while he gave up at the 14th floor. it's actually good that he made it all the way to the 14th floor. try it, it'll kill you for sure.

i hope me legs gets stronger from these 18 stories and help me to be able to climb better despite having a rock wall. and also, window grills are also been a good source of exercising material. hang there and train the muscles.

climbing comp in 2 or 3 weeks time.

watch the climbing comp at SMU today.
and i realised that sometimes, this is life.
no matter how much i would like to climb, i'll have to face the reality.
WELL, in God's timing.
in God's timing.

i got my pay today but is a little confused with the sum of money i got. shall ask AJ when i see her.

climbing with God

and i finally asked,
give me a chance, let me glow.
for this i pray, to Daddy God.

i guess it's been a really long time since i've built up the courage to ask God for something. something that i really wanted to maybe succeed in or to be proud of. it suddenly felt like all my chances were gone, like i used to have comments that i was good, well, one of the best. and somehow i knew that there were people who were expecting great achievments from me. But maybe i should just blame myself from being uncommitted, to climbing.
i've been missing my chances to prove my ability.
I can easily blame it on working/serving God during my holidays, which prevented me from climbing as well as joining a comp that could simply prove my ability, but somehow, i wasnt able to blame work at all because, i love the job, the kids, and i wouldnt even think about giving up this job for climbing.

But Lord, now i ask,
that somehow, You'll able to help me climb while i work.
Give me to strength and energy.
the ability to climb well and recieve glory,
for surely i will return all glory to You.

GLORY, it's like a very selfish word to use. and it took my a long time to even say out that word to God as i left the climbing room, without being able to climb. And as i walk out to the entrance of school, i prayed. but felt that glory just seemed so unholy in God eyes. But then i chose glory because i felt small in the climbing group, 80% malays (who convers in malay most of the time), 2 chinese girls, one who is super socialable and the other, me, who is super anti social. sometimes, all it takes to make me happy is to be able to hear someone calling my name, teaching me how to climb the right way. And it's not that i'm outcasted or something, it's that i really dont know how to communicate well.
and today, i thanked God for send one who spoke and totally updated me with every upcoming comps for the year.

glory.
i feared to tell God that. but then for a long time, God spoke, and cause i haven listened for a long time, it took me a long time to understand.
few days ago, while doing my QT, it was talking about prayer in practice. where it said that i should pray about everything. in Philippians 4:6, "tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done"
from big things to small things, i could ask Him.
then He told me about faith.
i guess being very very very dissappointed in my O level result has taken a whole big chunk of my faith in Prayer. I asked but i never recieve. so i chose not to ask anymore, but let Him do things of His will. But sometimes, God just wants you to ASK.


praying for glory wasnt by faith that time but it was more of a courage. "it glory too self?" but i managed to say it out. and found a little faith growing.

i dunno wether i'll excel further in climbing during this holiday with work, but i would really want to see God working in my life once again.


and thank Him for all He has done

RAINBOW!

while waiting for my bus to come, a few kids came down from their school bus, and after awhile they point up to the sky and said.
"RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

IT'S SUPER PRETTY.
and what i saw behind bukit panjang plaza wasnt just it.
as the bus drove along bukit panjang, there was more.
it was SO BIG that it seemed like it's governing over bukit panjang, from one end to another.


did you see the rainbow??

this picture is taken from my house.

but after 5 mins it went away, cause the sun was setting.

how often do you see such a rainbow? it was my first. and it made my day. =)

Gen 9:13

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.