moving out

it's 4:19pm now and i'm in school. i wonder if bro's gonna disconnect the whole internet system by the time i get home so here i am blogging and putting it to a later time before it gets plubished. That is 10pm.
ERM so i'm moving house tml gonna get to school to do the UT and get back home to help bro in moving the house.
AND WELL, this time there's bro in the house so i dont need to disconnect all the stupid tv and whatever electronic cables and then connect it back to the another house.
i wonder who's better. HEH.
i did it in less than 24hours the last time.
=)

so if i blog at 10pm tml means bro has succeeded.
=)

byebye temporary house!
byebye room with sis!
hello new house!
hello dearest room!

DRRRIVEEEEEE.

first driving lesson today!
and HMMM, it was fun? i think.
it's confusing okay like the clutch and changing gear thing.
ahh i'm get use to it.

next lesson's on 5/8
=)


i dont fancy durians.

how wonderful

hmm.. just a few hours after i blogged yesterday, I recieved a mail.
Expecting that it will be from the people but guess who emailed me.
AUNTY JOYCE
like DENG DENG! WHY WOULD MY EX-PASATOR EMAIL ME AND SINCE WHEN HAVE SHE EVER HAD CATCH UPS WITH ME.
and it's freaking freaky okay.
i mean i know God will guide me in many of my troubles but when i expected myself to FIND someone to talk, someone was actually FINDING me to check up on me.

so, SOMEONE told AJ i didnt go for lync's pasir ris outing and AJ was kinda worried you see.
and as i read through the email, tears just flow down my face. i was really greatful of how God's just so good to me, knowing that it will take me 2710824371 days to talk to some kind of mentor, like denise, to talk to, He has actually send me the person who i might probably talk last to, to dig out my thoughts and give some wonderful advices and encouragement.

At this time, i really thank God of all the people/friend He has given me.
Daddy God works in His most amazing ways.


it's kind of a messy entry so too bad if you cant understand it.

SIGHH

as days go by, the urge of me changing church increases.
SIGHH.
maybe tat's the reason y i'm so hot tempered nowaday.
LINETTE PLEASE STOP RAISING YOUR VOICE AT YOUR MUM.

i'm moving house on wed and i think it will give me the greater feel of changing church.
i'm not very sure if this is my calling yet or maybe caz i'm trying to run away from God.
i dont want to leave sac.
but i'm not growing there,
sighh
i'm afraid of changing church, like what if that church is a church like city harvest or new creation. it's a independent church afterall.
it's called "covenant evangelical free church"
plus my one of my mummy's best friend goes to that church and she have been asking her to try it out.
SIGHHH.
i need to talk to someone.

SAC

haha i just recieved an email survey from Diocese of Singapore (Anglican) about the youth service in my church.

HMMM lync.
and i think it's really the right time when i can be honest about my feelings for lync.
i mean lync's cool and all or shall i say WAS cool but it's just so ughhh nowadays. and i'm so not growing there. in fact i'm just living with the fact that GOD'S WONDERFUL, I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE MY FAITH. going lync's like a routine? or like something that i must go? and even in this time of dryness where some of us are just staying on caz we have commitments to lync. but if i'm not a co-singer, or someone who wasnt there from the first day, will i leave lync?

i even had thoughts about changing church and all, like when i move house, i can just go to the church that's just a min walk away. Or like IF ONE DAY, daddy decides to believe in God, i wouldnt mind going to a church near the house.
But yet, in this time of 'crisis' i know i cant leave lync.

do something Daddy God, send revival,
i really dont want to leave st andrew's cathedral
i still do love SAC

HAPPY BITHDAY JUN (! x19)

DAPH, SABRINA, LINETTE, JUN, CHARISSA

GUESS WHO?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=)

GENTLEMEN.

as you know, i'm injured all over, from wrist to elbow to hips to knee to heels and to toe but it doesnt matter. thinking about it, it's been about one and a half years since i've gotten injured. yeap the scar on my chin. =)

anyways it's really go to have a guy around when you're out shopping and stuff caz guys or GENTLEMENs will be nice to carry your 2.5kg laptop when he noes that it's freaking heavy and that you've sprained your elbow.

i like gentlemen s.
=)

stretchhhh

i'm DEAAAD TIRED.
yes climbing plus something extra.
this girl fell into a wrong position and hurt her back or something. so with much 'i'm in pain but i'm not going to speak, read it through my expression" thing. she took a long time to erm get walking. not that i'm impatient or wat but i think that "read my expression" thing was way too draggggggy.
well, it happened that she stays near me and i volunteered to send her home with a few other people. i mean i really want to help her from the bottom of my heart and i'm not two facing. just stating the fact. BUT WELLS maybe cause i'm forever not affected by pain so i dont feel her pain.


i'm all bruised from climbing.
and a blister on my toe.
so i'm wearing slippers to school tml.
=)
plus today's training+ the girl was WAAAAY TIRING.
kill me.

ok!
better STRETCH before i get aches again.


p.s: today's wasnt a bad day afterall; despite waking up late today, being late for class and currently dying from exhaustion. [passer-by will get what i mean.] =)

heart breaking

heart breakings

the band (2004)
before things change. (2006)
monk's hill. (2008)


things comes and go and all you want is to go back to history, where things seems to be pure and perfect.


p.s: i was violently abused my winston today.

daphne gan.

(11:32 PM) HIS WORD.:
i'm tired sia
(11:32 PM) HIS WORD.:
juz came back from climbing not long
(11:33 PM) daph:
i might join
(11:33 PM) daph:
canoeing
(11:33 PM) daph:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(11:33 PM) daph:
im gonna be buffer than you
(11:33 PM) daph:
watch out man
(11:33 PM) daph:
we arm wrestle next time ok
(11:33 PM) daph:
HAHAAHAHAHA
(11:33 PM) HIS WORD.:
HAHAHHAHAH
(11:33 PM) HIS WORD.:
OKAY
(11:45 PM) daph:
ok i need to go pee now
(11:45 PM) daph:
be back SOON
(11:45 PM) HIS WORD.:
ok
(11:50 PM) daph:
sensored
(11:50 PM) daph:
sensored
(11:50 PM) HIS WORD.:
sensored
(11:50 PM) HIS WORD.:
sensored
(11:50 PM) HIS WORD.:
sensored
(11:51 PM) daph:
sensored
(11:51 PM) HIS WORD.:
sensored
(12:23 AM) daph:
mm
(12:23 AM) HIS WORD.:
??
(12:24 AM) daph:
gonna poop now HAHA
(12:24 AM) daph:
: )
(12:25 AM) HIS WORD.:
WHAAAT
(12:32 AM) daph:
oh my gosh i feel so much better now HHAA
(12:32 AM) daph:
yay now im going to do the ezb ordering HAHA
(12:32 AM) HIS WORD.:
HAHAAH DAPH!!!!!!!!!
(12:34 AM) daph:
whot?
(12:35 AM) HIS WORD.:
i'm so gonna blog it down.
(12:35 AM) daph:
!!
(12:36 AM) daph:
but dont you love shitting too?!
(12:36 AM) daph:
it's just so.....
(12:36 AM) HIS WORD.:
DAPHNE!!!
(12:36 AM) daph:
in jun's words RELEASING
(12:36 AM) daph:
shitting rocks
(12:36 AM) daph:
HAAHAHHHAA
(12:36 AM) daph:
IT'S TRUE LAAAA OK
(12:36 AM) HIS WORD.:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(12:36 AM) HIS WORD.:
ok i believe you
(12:37 AM) daph:
: )

CHEN

there was a CHEN dinner last night.
chen as in the bigger relatives.
my shanghai uncle came to singapore and treated the chens for dinner at east coast's jumbo.
shanghai uncle - my dad's cousin.
and if you didnt know, i'm a shanghainess. =)
OK the food was ALRIGHT. nothing special. expected more thou.

and then today,
I MET UP WITH SALIHIN!
yupp before he moves away from me and head back to his civilisation.
well i still miss my civilisation.

class.

well, this week was a bad one for me.
like everyday's pretty screwed.
but oh well
i'm sure thing will get better.

came home at 4pm today and decided to SLEEP.
i cant remember how long have i tried sleeping without an alarm clock.
like you know you just collapse on the bed and sleep as much as you want?
ok although i've only slept for 2 hrs,
it's still a good one.


i'm pretty happy right now caz i'm gonna meet a few CLASS people soon!
yupp it's one of my closest guy friend since sec 1's 18th year on national day.
he's someone whom really respect me in certain ways?
like you know when he lights a cigarette infront of me, he'll like "sorry" in the "pai seh HEH".
get what i mean?
and well i really feel respected by that.
caz he's my only smoker friend who does that to me.
someone who actually cares how i feel when ppl smokes infront of me.
=)

sick.

i'm sick.
body, mind and spirit.
yes all three.
health's sort of down,
brain's tired
spirit's alone, without God.

i need to get back to Daddy God.
and stop depending on my own.

rejoycing in failures

i cut my hair yesterday.
and i think it sucks.
good for styling thou.


sometimes winning isnt everything you gotta do in life.
wat's important is how you're gonna face it.
i once told my youth hub kids that winning isnt everything.
what's important is the journey throughout the race.
we dont need to win to feel good about ourself.
cause we know, we CAN rejoyce in failures.
the question is how.

have you tried rejoycing in failures?

dengue

i felt my joints in pain while sleeping

but was it a dream or was it reality?

things would be much better if that did come last night

at least i'll be able to face this day with a better attitude.

Daddy God,

i'm tired.

words of wisdom

sometimes we struggle from the challanges given by God.
struggling so much that we just want to break free.
indeed it's hard being a christian
but always remember that God's up there watching us.
saying "good job my child" when we've overcome them all.

all we need is
faith.
to hang in there even when we dont feel Him near.

till one day, we'll understand what's God up to.

Aedes

something good,
I PASS MY BTT.

something bad.
i think i got bitten by a aedes mosquito, 2 bites.
lazy to explain what happened but if i get a fever 3 days later or something,
i think i better get to the doctor.

dad was so cute jsut now.
he came home,
mum told him about my bites
then he came to me and was like
"you got bitten by mosquito?"
"yah."
"slaps his hand on my forehead."
like WHAAAAT?


i'm getting moody over this so mind me if i get irritated easily.

God's Gang

i had a dream this afternoon.
GG MET UP.

i miss GG.

JULY.

it's been long since i've turn to christian music.

yeah ever since i've moved house, the only time i on them is when i feel like practising some songs on the guit. AND THEN, i thought about FOP wondering when is it, thinking that it's gonna be this sat. SO searched for "Festival of Praise" found the site with only a poster on the webpage.

AND i saw the date.

"1-3 AUGUST 2008"

next reaction was like

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? IT'S OVER?!?!?!?!?!

HOW COME THERE WASNT ANYONE FROM LYNC WHO MENTIONED ABOUT IT?

(checks the date on the com's calendar)

WHY IS IT FROM TUES TO THURS?

ISNT IT SUPPOSE TO BE ON FRI-SUN?

SSHHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTT.

sigh i missed it.

(wanted to double click on xiao ma's msn nick and complain)

but, the next moment,

i went back to the site again.

1-3 AUGUST 2008.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CRAP IT'S JULY NOW.

imgines xiao guang and xiao ma to be saying:

"XIAOOOO SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

=)

unusually,
4/5 of my family is home already.

ahh chest pain, poor breathing.
i wonder what caused it.
maybe too much exercising?
darrrrn.

i think i need to get my testimonial REAAALLLLY SOON.
TAN BEE TING WHERE ARE YOU?
and SALIHIN! name a time!
=)

best friends.

today kinda sucked.
it's one of the days where i didnt feel like talking at all.
maybe cause sister threw temper at me even before i could wake up caz she wanted to sleep more which cause me to be late for school.


time's running out.
and i have a fear.
when we meet more often than usual,
we'll get closer.
I do want to treasure every moment we have before she leaves for Hawaii.
but i fear that when she leaves,
i wouldnt bare to see the leaving.
afterall we grew up together.
and no matter how different we are,
we remained best friends.

exaggerated emotion words

DARN. i'm learning too much from daph and especially sabrina.
exaggerated emotion words like
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" or like "SHEN MEHHH???"
"KILL ME."
and now it's
wat you guys say, the cressent thing.
TSK.

and i'm sure sabrina invented the top few.

orange julius

nothing beats having a strawberry banana juice and chilli melt dog from orange julius.
just after
(running the track + 5 pull ups + 10 sit ups + 10 push ups) X 3
plus 2 hours of climbing.

=)

i love orange julius
and strawberry banana is the best mixed fruit juice ever.
it reminds me of SAJC's strawberry banana.
and of caz SERVE.
=)

i love kabas! =)

my nose is kinda running now.
but i think it's sinus.
so that means that my brain wont be able to blog properly.

-woke up at 615am today and i tot it was pretty fun.
going to the bus stop when the sky's still dark,
boarding a bus which is almost empty.
but of all i know,
i wont want to do this everyday. =)

-So worship was pretty alright. i guess?


-oh food festival is here!
and i LOVVVEEE KABAS.
=)

-dad says we're moving anytime this month.

-it's youth day tomorrow AND I DONT HAVE A HOLIDAY!!!!
my youthhub kid happily msged me.
"tml youth day celebration. are you coming?"
THANKS AR! I GOT SCHOOL.

seven-thirty

i'll get piss off when any of my technology stuff doesnt work the way it's suppose to be.
or like a com gets virus.
or like when the com isnt working the way it should be.


waking up at 6am tml to reach church at 730am
kill me.
it's finally sunday tomorrow
Daddy God,
please maintain my voice till 11am or i'l be super super super super super upset.

life.

ehh i'm kinda tired.
so tired that for the first time, my eyes like in a bloodshot state.
but that doesnt really prevent me from thinking.

so i'm just wondering why people screws up their lifes when they are actually having a probably good life. We often think that our decision is wat we want but will it be too late when we finally realised that want we want is actually want's not suitable for us.
how often do we regret over the choice that we chose?

I've actually seen so many of my wonderful friends changing into someone I dont wish to have any relation with. From someone i've deeply admire to someone whom i'm disappointed with.
but still, my heart still cries out for them.
for them to be awaken one day.

technology.

thanks arh LEO.
this is where technology sucks.
just when i somehow found some internet connect in the CAR, 2mins before 12am
and guess what technology sucks to the extend that it has to really prevent me from evulating people exectly at 1159pm.
oh i evulated ivan.
then it 'over due'me.

oh yes. i'm in the car NOW.
that the cool side of technology.
=)

waiting for dad's to come back with food.
oh just went to see the new house and
I LOVE MY RRROOOOOOOOM! =)

draining.

screw LEO.
it made me submit 2 freaking RJs,
took me a long time to do the evulations
and didnt save me quiz fast enough, erm and i closed it.

i guess doing all these at 1130pm isnt a very good idea at all.
BUT I CAME HOME AT 11PM TODAY!

UUUUGHHHH.

forget it.


youth day prac today. and well I think it was the best practise we had so far? yeahh out of the 8 that we had so far. youth day on sunday and i'll finally be erm free-er at least i can go home and rest on tuesdays and thursdays from next week. and stop with my stupid 9am to 10pm routine plus eating at 1pm and 10pm so far for the whole of this week.
oh yeah and i was FREEAAAAAKKKING TIRED TODAY. erm it's 12am now so yesterday.
so tired that i just started sleeping where ever i could.

-1st breakout where I WAS RUDELY INTERPUTED BY IVAN AND WINSTON.
-taking a little disrespectful short sleeps during people's presentation.
-sleeping on the almost 1 hour, 3 bus rides from woodlands to cityhall
-and finally so tired that when i reached church, i just couldnt help it but to just collapse onto the santuary's benches, AND SLEPT. while waiting for the late people to come.

i guess all the short sleeps has helped me to have the energy i have now.
and yes i'm not tired now but i wont know about tomorrow.
=)

and now i start to wonder,
where the hack did i get my energy from.

thank you Daddy God.
=)


oh yeah, forgot to mention about my new blog skin.
simple is good.

WHHHHAAAATTTT?

SIS AND MUM JUST CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME THIS.

"DADDY SAYS WE'RE MOVING IN JULY."
WHICH IS THIS FREAKING MONTH!!
BECAUSE STUPID MOVERS DONT WANT TO MOVE HOUSE DURING GHOST FESTIVAL!

WHHHHHAAAAAAAATTT?????????????????????????
what does moving house gotta do with ghost festival!?!?!?!?!

and i thought i could rest.

insecurities

erm, back from climbing.

i'm tired.
but it's gonna be my last week that i'm packed with stuff every weekday.
youth day prac tml.
and i hope it will be good.


Today was bad caz i've never felt such fear for a very very long time.
So scared that I wanted to cry.
I guess, I haven gotten rid of my fears yet.
and for all I know,
i hate it when people whom i'm not close to, comes in contact with any part of me, for no reason at all.
i freaking hate it.
i'm kinda insecure
and I still believe in myself more than anyone eles.

but i'm ok with being insecure.
=)

p.s: thank you sharifa.