climbing with God

and i finally asked,
give me a chance, let me glow.
for this i pray, to Daddy God.

i guess it's been a really long time since i've built up the courage to ask God for something. something that i really wanted to maybe succeed in or to be proud of. it suddenly felt like all my chances were gone, like i used to have comments that i was good, well, one of the best. and somehow i knew that there were people who were expecting great achievments from me. But maybe i should just blame myself from being uncommitted, to climbing.
i've been missing my chances to prove my ability.
I can easily blame it on working/serving God during my holidays, which prevented me from climbing as well as joining a comp that could simply prove my ability, but somehow, i wasnt able to blame work at all because, i love the job, the kids, and i wouldnt even think about giving up this job for climbing.

But Lord, now i ask,
that somehow, You'll able to help me climb while i work.
Give me to strength and energy.
the ability to climb well and recieve glory,
for surely i will return all glory to You.

GLORY, it's like a very selfish word to use. and it took my a long time to even say out that word to God as i left the climbing room, without being able to climb. And as i walk out to the entrance of school, i prayed. but felt that glory just seemed so unholy in God eyes. But then i chose glory because i felt small in the climbing group, 80% malays (who convers in malay most of the time), 2 chinese girls, one who is super socialable and the other, me, who is super anti social. sometimes, all it takes to make me happy is to be able to hear someone calling my name, teaching me how to climb the right way. And it's not that i'm outcasted or something, it's that i really dont know how to communicate well.
and today, i thanked God for send one who spoke and totally updated me with every upcoming comps for the year.

glory.
i feared to tell God that. but then for a long time, God spoke, and cause i haven listened for a long time, it took me a long time to understand.
few days ago, while doing my QT, it was talking about prayer in practice. where it said that i should pray about everything. in Philippians 4:6, "tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done"
from big things to small things, i could ask Him.
then He told me about faith.
i guess being very very very dissappointed in my O level result has taken a whole big chunk of my faith in Prayer. I asked but i never recieve. so i chose not to ask anymore, but let Him do things of His will. But sometimes, God just wants you to ASK.


praying for glory wasnt by faith that time but it was more of a courage. "it glory too self?" but i managed to say it out. and found a little faith growing.

i dunno wether i'll excel further in climbing during this holiday with work, but i would really want to see God working in my life once again.


and thank Him for all He has done

RAINBOW!

while waiting for my bus to come, a few kids came down from their school bus, and after awhile they point up to the sky and said.
"RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

IT'S SUPER PRETTY.
and what i saw behind bukit panjang plaza wasnt just it.
as the bus drove along bukit panjang, there was more.
it was SO BIG that it seemed like it's governing over bukit panjang, from one end to another.


did you see the rainbow??

this picture is taken from my house.

but after 5 mins it went away, cause the sun was setting.

how often do you see such a rainbow? it was my first. and it made my day. =)

Gen 9:13

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

youth hub

it's raining heavily now. and i wonder if there's gonna be many kids in the hub today to boost up some energy in me.


oh if you didnt know, i've finally started work.

a little sad valentine.

i think i'm slowly putting more of climbing into my life, because i was actually upset that didnt have my climbing shoes which prevented me from joining a mini comp today.

maybe it's a good thing that made me realised i do like rock climbing.
well, maybe God has His reason for not getting me into the comp. although i really wanted to try it out and see where i stand.

lonely valentine at home.
but who cares.
just needed to settle down for one day.

it could change a life.

something came into my mind at class's bbq yesterday, and it was the last thing that i'll ever want to consider of but it was in my thoughts of for at least 5 secs. plus somehow, this time, i dunno why but the pressure was really high.

you know like God has set this very very clear bourdary for me that i should never smoke, not even try a puff, cause He once told me that if i try, it'll be something that i'll never be able to get rid of.

and somehow at THAT moment, i just felt God using so much strength to pull me back to Him saying no, repeating what He has told me before, over and over. While friend/s tries to temp me.

you know at the moment, i felt like i was being hypnotized or something caz never in my life was i tempted by this and thank God for awaking me.

but still i'm super affected and shocked by that 5 secs.
its scary when i start thinking of what had happened.

driving.

up infront of my table like a reflection.

life sucks.

i have a brother.

I have a brother.
and i called him into my room to check out his new name card design.

so he sat on my bed and started to look through my stuff.
my tv related cables, food and air-con control.
and asked many many questions.

then he left with this sentance.
"i dont care, you better think. (of a new design for the back of the namecard)"

many hours, when i'm done with the namecard i realised stuffs.
1) he ate my snack and threw the wraper on my tv table.
2) he left his empty bottle of apple juice on my tv table.
3) he change me air-con temperature from 25 to 18 degrees and i was almost freezing.


i have a brother,
a silent killer.

march twelve

was watching tv just now and it advertised a singapore band called "march twelve".
hahah yes my very favourite day i guess.
checked it up.
their song isnt that nice.
But since my previous blog song entry is no more here, here a new song.

the intro is kinda LOOOONNNGGGG.
and it's the only song i can find from imeem


march twelve - brainwashed -

climb and tare.

i went climbing today.
and made three more blisters.
2 on left, 1 on my right pinky.
kill me please.
it hurts much more than the previous ones, especially when it's under water.

SEE LAH THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT CLIMBING AFTER A LONG TIME.

more than just a crack.

wah lauuu life sucks mann.
just when my fingers are healing from the wounds and being almost painless, i happily did push-ups on my bed and made a crack of wound on and almost fully healed finger.

now, i cant open up my fingers again.
ajwoirjdnfiuzsgrlqndkdlask

what?

somehow, i feel that i'm slowly losing my emotions

like a plain stone at times.